Sunday, 16 January 2011

Maximus Has A Peculiar Hobby.

Naughtius Maximus Extremus Macwhirter ('Max' for short) has never been the most normal of dogs. He seems at his most comfortable when he's upside down - not that he ever complains when that's not possible. He likes to give kisses all of the time, so care must be taken to keep oneself out of striking range of his tongue. That's not too difficult as long as one stays mindful about that. He also seems to be attached to his favourite yellow ball by some sort of cosmic force. We've been speculating as to the nature of said attachment - is the ball secretly his soul? Does it give him power? Mankind may never know the answer. 

But that's fairly normal compared to his newfound passion in life. Ladies and gentleman, my cocker spaniel is obsessed with pants.

Whenever anyone in our household changes the pants they are wearing, Max goes berserk. In a happy sort of way. There is no alternative - he gets an overriding compulsion to lick, lick, lick these new pants. It's just something he has to do. He gets so excited by it. 

It's not totally limited to pants, either. Skirts and shorts aren't always exempt. Sometimes, bare legs are just as fun for him. You can imagine that this would be a lot less fun for the rightful owner of the bare legs. As much as you try to assure him that it's really not a life changing thing, he won't listen. He can't listen. You're probably lying, anyway - he knows just how important the changing of the pants is. Max won't listen to your lies.

Pumba has a strange hobby too; he likes to lick the floor. However, we know for sure that he's not doing this out of amazement. Licking the floor just seems to be Pumba's personal little way of being a cheeky bugger. He seems to only do it when he knows we're watching and is always very slow about stopping. He also feels the need to go the long way when told to come back inside, just to stick it to the system. Or something. 

Thursday, 13 January 2011

The 6 Things About Digimon That Annoyed Me The Most.

As much as I adore Digimon Adventure, I readily admit that there were some things that were very, very wrong with it - some things that were able to drive me absolutely bonkers. They're all small things that didn't relly detract from my overall enjoyment of either season, but nevertheless, they're there and they're annoying.

Oh, also, spoiler warning, in case that wasn't obvious. And as with anything Digimon, I'm really only talking about things relevant to Digimon Adventure 01 and 02. I'll get around to watching the rest later.

There's gotta be an easier way to sell cards.
6: The Decanonisation of 01 and 02.
I'll put this at sixth because it doesn't actually take place within the bounds of 01 and 02. When Digimon Tamers (the third season in the Digimon franchise) started, it was revealed that Digimon was a TV series in that world. As in, nothing in the previous two series could be considered canon within Digimon any more. Yeah, I know it doesn't affect those two seasons themselves, but it seemed a little cheap.

5:  Apocalymon.

Apocalymon.
 The final boss of 01 reeks of Giant Space Flea From Nowhere, in my eyes. There is absolute no lead up to him but when he appears, it's explicitly stated that he was behind all of the badness that was happening throughout the entire series. Also he's super dooper powerful and you should totally be afraid of him now, okay audience?

Honestly, you know things are going pretty badly wrong when you introduce a ridiculous Large Ham evil dude ("complete with hot and cold running water", he boasts) and I am able to hate them. It's widely accepted as canon that I love Large Hams. They're normally excellent. Unfortunately, Apocalymon's very existence is something prone to make the Easter Bunny cry tears of hatred and sulfur.

Should I clarify what's wrong with him?
Also Apocalymon.

Well, he's just stupid. He's a god mode villain who is made out of every digimon that the Digidestined and their digimon partners ever defeated. There was never any allusion to that sort of thing being possible. He then proceeds to curb stomp the kids and co into deletion. They float around in some sort of purgatory thing before epiphanising (which is a word now, by the way) and realising 'lol, we're so cool' and coming back to smite him with the power of love and friendship and whatnot. Apocalymon's existence made the majority of the last two episodes suck. I'm sure they could've come up with something better.

4: The translated digimon names in 02.
Hawkmon, Armadillomon and Veemon don't sound nearly as cool as Biyomon, Gabumon and Agumon. Okay, I know that Biyomon was originally Piyomon, but that's beside the point. Digmon is a stupid name. Pegasusmon is a stupid name. Wormmon is a stupid name. Those are just the names of the partner digimon - the entire world was seemingly affected. What kind of digiparent would name their child Starmon?

Now, I understand that there are names like Birdramon, Puppetmon and Angemon in the original series. Somehow, though, those don't bother me. After all, at least they're not Birdmon and Angelmon. Can't say much for Puppetmon, but at least it doesn't sound completely ridiculous. Plus, in the first series, the world wasn't flooded by annoyingly translated names - they were generally in the minority.

Yes, I figured out that watching the sub instead of the dub would solve this problem. Don't care, I grew up with the dub and that's what I choose to watch and complain about.

3: Kabuterimon's voice change.
I refer, of course, to this mofo.
The first time Kabuterimon appears, he doesn't have the ferocious growly kind of tone to his voice that all of the other champion level digimon have had so far. It was kind of nasally and, dare I say, 'nerdy', but it was fitting and I liked it. The guy had basically been evolved by a computer program written by a whiz-kid, so it worked. Plus, it was different. It wasn't just another 'rawr I will eat your soul with extreme prejudice, evildoer' kind of thing like Greymon or Garurumon's voices. It was actually kind of cool and Kabuterimon totally pulled it off.
ELECTRO SHOCKER.

Until they decided he wouldn't anymore. The next time he appears, his voice actor is doing that very same 'rawr I will eat your soul with extreme prejudice, evildoer' kind of tone I was talking about. Maybe the kids responded to that better, I don't know. That's not my concern. I'm complaining on the internet and am therefore entitled to be %100 right, so clearly, they should've kept his nasally voice. He was still badass with it - who's going to argue with the giant insect that can shock you, anyway?

2: 02's infamous epilogue.
 Hooooo boy. Where do I start with this one?
I think this might be a 'good' place to start.

Why oh why did they feel the need to tack this onto the end? Study that picture for a while. Can you spot what's wrong with it? If you can't, slowly back away from the internet, put your mouse on the ground and your hands in the air. Or, alternatively, actually watch the show. If you're still having trouble; that's Matt Ishida and Gabumon right there. You know, the kid who was trying his hardest to make it in a band throughout 02? The same kid that was constantly playing his harmonica in 01? Apparently, the logical career choice for him was an astronaut. Well, of course it was! How did I not see it before? By the way, these two were the first beings on Mars - even though they were only supposed to go to the moon! What a twist!

Let's try another example.

Ken Ichijouji - PI.
Need I say more?

1: That damn narrator at the ends of episodes.
 WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE MY HATRED FOR THIS GUY.

Actually, considering what the blogging medium is, all I can try to describe said hatred with are words, so I'll have a crack at it anyway.

He says the most idiotic things. For example, in one episode in Puppetmon's arc, we see Matt and Gabumon walking away from the group and into the forest. It's obvious that Matt chose to leave because he can't cope with TK not needing his help. Joe sees him leave but thinks nothing of it, assuming he needed to go 'use the bathroom'. That episode was awesome. In fact, most of that arc was absobloodylutely fantastic.

Except for that narrator.

"WAS MATT'S DISAPPEARANCE CAUSED BY PUPPETMON?"

...
...!
NO.
NO.
IT BLOODY WELL WASN'T.
WE ALL SAW HIM WALK AWAY.
COME ON, NARRATOR, YOU WERE THERE.
ARE WE EVEN WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?
FLARGEN.

Ahem. I think that should begin to illustrate the boundlessness of my rage whenever I hear that flargen narrator. If you're still not sure, he seems to love asking "IS THIS THE END OF THE DIGIDESTINED?" an awful lot. I briefly toyed with the idea of going through every episode end to count how many times he calls for doom, but it's not worth destroying the computer. I'd have to pay for it, you know.

---

Easily angered? Me? Nah, couldn't be.